We asked a therapist if the ‘holiday blues’ were real

Even though the holidays are supposed to be joyful, many people feel the opposite. More than three in five Americans describe the season as stressful, overwhelming or exhausting.

This emotional whiplash is so common, in fact, that it’s nicknamed the “Holiday Blues.” We spoke with Dawn Moore, MS, LMFT, LADC, licensed therapist and clinical director of the Center for Individual, Couple, and Family Counseling at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, to help us understand why the holiday blues hit so hard and what we can do to make the season less heavy.

*This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

Q: During the holidays, I feel a little sad or depressed. Why then? Is this normal?

Moore: The “Holiday Blues” stem from persistent feelings of anxiety, loneliness, and sadness during the holidays. For some, the simple apprehension of the season is enough to trigger it.

This anticipatory stress can start as early as August, when we start seeing decorations change in stores and we start thinking about our travel plans or which family members we’re going to see. When stress floods the body, managing our emotions can be more difficult.

High levels of stress over a prolonged period of time have been linked to depression and anxiety. But anticipatory stress is just one possible reason for those perpetual feelings of sadness during the holidays.

What causes the holiday blues?

People can experience depression during the holidays for many reasons, including financial stress, isolation, loneliness, lack of routine, and even poor sleep.

Often people don’t normally take care of themselves or really take the time to relax while on vacation. When you break from the holiday routine (by eating richer foods than we’re used to, drinking more, or sleeping less), you inadvertently stray from the habits that help us feel healthy and regulated.

All of these disruptions can make the body more sensitive to heavier emotions, especially when coupled with the high expectations that come with the holidays.

Additionally, the holidays can be a very difficult time for people who have lost someone, experienced a divorce, separation or breakup, or are simply feeling alone.

How to deal with these feelings during the holidays

• Prepare in advance: This may include planning trips, budgeting for gifts or events, and preparing for gatherings in advance to make the vacation as less stressful as possible.
• Maintain healthy routines: While it’s totally okay to enjoy a delicious Christmas dinner or skip a workout to spend time with family, still try to take care of yourself, whether that’s exercise, nutritious meals, or personal wellness routines.
• Limit social media: Rather than staying present with what’s in front of us, social media can make us focus more on what we don’t have. This is not a realistic representation of the reality in most people’s lives. Setting boundaries can be very helpful in managing negative feelings.

When to contact a professional

If sadness persists for a much longer period of time, keeps you from working, or prevents you from enjoying the hobbies you usually enjoy, it may be time to reach out to someone. This first step might be to talk with a trusted friend or family member.

If you experience persistent feelings of hopelessness or sadness, it’s time to see a mental health professional. They can help you manage your emotions, develop a treatment plan, and get you back on track.