Secret Wars will probably not include the sad Spider-Man bathroom scene from Marvel

Marvel Comics published their massive multiserment event of 12 “Secret Wars” numbers in 1984 and, even at the time, he felt commercially mercenary. This certainly did not help that it was published jointly with a new range of Mattel toys. The premise of “Secret Wars” has been simple and childish: a powerful interdimensional entity called the Beyonder creates a new planet which he calls Battleworld. He fills him with weapons and rifles, then magically teleports a huge handful of superheroes and Marvel super-villains in the middle of it. He orders them to fight. The winner will get a single wish. Then the heroes and the bad guys all fight. And that’s it. “Secret Wars” was the thinnest excuse possible to write scenes of heroes and bad guys. He didn’t need to be a story or motivations. It’s just an insane superhero action, barely above slamming figures of action together. Jim Shooter wrote the series.

“Secret Wars” was however a huge success for Marvel Comics, and his heritage lasted to the present day. Indeed, a feature film entitled “Avengers: Secret Wars” is currently scheduled for the release on December 17, 2027. The comic book series also generated a mini-series in a row, written by Shooter and drawn by Al Milgrom, entitled “Secret Wars II” in 1985. “Secret Wars II” saw the return of the Bey, but this time, its mission was more based on research. He came to Earth, still interested in his superheroes and chose to go there with his own superpowers removed. He studied human subjects while learning to do things like eating, sleeping and using toilets.

Yes, this last part was actually in “Secret Wars II”. The Beyonder, a spatial deity by Beyond Time, did not know how a toilet worked and had to be taught. There is a notorious scene in which Spider-Man, completely embarrassed by the idea, must teach beyond how to relieve himself.

It seems unlikely that “Avengers: Secret Wars” will recreate this scene.

The comic book website has recently published all the two-page broadcasting from the Spider-Man / Beyonder bathroom debacle on their website, and it is really worth stopping to travel. The Beyonder is hungry for knowledge and experience, and comes to Spider-Man to ask for the meaning of life. Spider-Man underlines that he is quite intelligent, but he is neither a guru nor a philosopher and is poorly equipped to answer questions about the meaning of life. However, when the Beyonder complains of a curious pressure in his bottom of the abdomen, Spider-Man knows exactly what is happening: he must do poop. Spider-man shows it to the toilet. Fortunately, the Beyonder is intelligent enough to remove his costume and properly use the toilet without Spider-Man standing above him. The Beyonder leaves the Spider-Man bathroom, proudly declaring that “the experience is consumed”.

The reason why we will probably not see the Beyonder toilet scene in “Avengers: Secret Wars” – beyond the evidence – is that the film seems to prevent the events of the first series “Secret Wars” and jumping straight before a 2006 redemption in history “Secret Wars” entitled “Beyond!” “Beyond!” lasted six issues and also presented the same premise. The Beyonder teleported a random handful of heroes and bad guys in Battleworld, and this time offered three wishes to the winner. For “Beyond!, However, the identity of the Beyonder is presented as a mystery, and its motivations are ineffable and cosmic.

We know from various reports that the characters of Doctor Doom (Robert Downey Jr.) and Fantastic Four will also play a major role in the film “Secret Wars”, it is therefore likely that a large part of the story will be modified by comics. And if this is the case, it seems even less likely that we will see the beyonder in human form, asking to use the Spider-Man bathroom.

If Marvel Studios ends up presenting the infamous pot scene, however, they will win my respect. Imagine temerity.