It’s that time of year again, a time when socializing can feel like a chore. As much as we love getting together during the holidays to party galore, it can also seem like too much. And once you get home from the party, it may be difficult to calm down or it may promote fatigue, because all the chatter can seem exhausting.
This is especially true for those who aren’t used to as much socializing, especially if they’re more introverted and small talk takes a lot of work, says Laurie Helgoe, a clinical psychologist and author of Introverted Power: Why Your Inner Life is Your Hidden Strength.
Learn more: Decorate early for the holidays and it might improve your mood
What causes this post-party depression?
There is a wide range of personality types. Extroverts can thrive in social gatherings and even gain energy from them. But introverts have a harder time because for them, socializing requires energy.
Between these two personality types lies a wide range of people who fall somewhere along this continuum, Helgoe explains. There are also people who, although extroverted, are sensitive and worry about what others think of them.
After the party, an extrovert may have a different type of hangover than an introvert. An extrovert may have feelings of disappointment or a feeling that it is difficult to calm down, while an introvert needs to process the experience internally.
“Introverts need silence to hear themselves think,” says Helgoe. And if it’s the holiday season and you’re going from an office party to a neighborhood get-together to your kid’s school play, you don’t have time to do this treatment.
Introverts and those who are more socially sensitive may also spend a lot of time looking at what they said and did at a party, which can lead to feelings of anxiety or depression afterward.
The role of alcohol in post-party depression
According to a report from UCLA Health, by most estimates, alcohol consumption doubles during the holiday season, which is the result of a number of factors. For starters, there are more opportunities to drink, and people who may be more socially nervous might be more likely to drink. Not to mention, people may be in a celebratory mood and more likely to imbibe some holiday spirits.
“Alcohol is a disinhibitor, so there’s a process of being in it and letting go, then coming back down and feeling shame, wondering how you were perceived, and feeling physically lousy, all of which can contribute to post-holiday depression,” says Helgoe.
Alcohol is also a central nervous system depressant, although we think of it as something that makes you feel good, according to the National Library of Medicine. Ultimately, when you come back to it, it’s a depressant.
Drinking can also impact your sleep, which can also impact your mood, because poor sleep makes it difficult to regulate emotions, according to a report from Johns Hopkins. If you go from party to party and consume alcohol at each one, it can cause problems with your sleep cycle for several days. And if you already have problems with self-evaluation or if you look at every conversation you’ve had at a party and decide if you said the right thing, it can make your personal judgment worse.
Working against the tide of the holiday season
And finally, Helgoe says, even though the holiday season is packed with so many social activities, it’s also the time of year when many of us prefer to hibernate. It’s darker and often colder in winter, but instead of following our circadian rhythms, Helgoe explains, we’re in go, go, go mode.
A study published in Current biology found that post-industrial societies kept up with this pace in a way that we do not. Researchers found that light and temperature were major determinants of sleep, and that this applied in societies that were not connected to each other. Basically, even though we’re supposed to sleep more in the winter when it’s dark and cold, we end up having more things to do.
“There is cultural dissent because nothing changes in the expectations around us, even though biologically we need more sleep when there is less light,” says Helgoe.
Learn more: Staying awake after midnight could make us more impulsive and cynical
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