Palliative care: the last gift you can offer

When your loved one faces at the end of his life, the decision to request palliative care care is the most difficult you will do. There is often uncertainty about what the hospice really means and the fear that you abandon to your beloved.

But for Tamara Brown, looking for a hospice, it was not a question of ending the combat for her husband, Ron. It was a question of moving his last days to comfort and peace and offer all his family the quality gift. It was a deeply personal decision for her, and which required immense courage and confidence in the team that would take care of him during one of the most difficult moments of life.

The trip to the hospice

Ron Brown has overcome incredible medical ratings in recent years of his life.

In 2016, he survived a stroke that left him paralyzed on his right side. After receiving a year to live, he continued to fight several health problems, with the help of his family, including aneurysms and other complications of his condition. For six and a half years, Ron and his family fought a health problem after another.

“It took everything we had, physically, emotionally and spiritually,” said Tamara. “But we have never abandoned it. These years tested our strength as a family in a way that we could never have imagined. ”

In August 2022, Ron did what looked like an embodied nail. It turned out to be a serious infection, which led to the discovery of a blood clot in his left leg.

Due to his other health complications, he was not a candidate for surgery. His care team recommended comfort measures, and it was when the family began to consider other care options.

“We first started with palliative care,” says Tamara. “I had a lot of false ideas about what palliative care was really care, and it was only when we were in our lowest, feeling desperate for peace and comfort, that I knew that I had to make the call.”

Transition to palliative care

On December 15, the OSF Hospice team arrived at Brown home and started a trip that would forever change the way they aimed at end -of -life care.

The team quickly became more than caregivers – they became part of the family.

“For each of them, he was more than a patient – he was Ron,” said Tamara.

For Ron, it was not only a question of managing your symptoms.

“They all listened to his needs, respected his wishes and ensured that he could spend his last days as he wanted – at home and with the people he loved most by his side,” explains Tamara.

The team offered support to the whole family, daily recording, offering therapy resources, a 24 -hour telephone line and making sure no one felt alone.

“They allowed me to ask all the questions and had an answer for each of them,” explains Tamara. “I always had doubts if it was the right thing to do, and they reassured me and made me comfortable.”

Ron died the following month, surrounded by his relatives.

“Even if my heart breaks, my mind was at peace,” explains Tamara. “I can be a bit of a control monster and I really didn’t think anyone could take care of him as I could. But the hospice team intervened in a way that I could not and allowed me to focus on the woman and the mother of my family. ”

After the hospice

Following Ron’s death, the impact of palliative care did not end.

“My opinion on the hospice has changed forever,” says Tamara. “I learned that it is not only about physical comfort – it is a question of allowing your close to getting out of this life with peace and dignity.

Experience has also inspired her to make a significant career change.

“I am a very spiritual person and I was looking for a direction,” explains Tamara. “I always believed that once one person has done his act in this life, he should be well taken care of. But seeing it on the other side was different. I knew that taking care of others at the end of his life is where I was called to be. ”

During the last month of Ron’s life, Tamara investigated the options to open her own palliative care service, but nothing seemed good.

“During a particularly difficult day, Ron Tara’s nurse examined his feet. She said, “You really took care of him,” says Tamara. “So that the nurse comments on my abilities as a caregiver gave me the confidence I needed.”

With a new meaning of the goal, Tamara decided that she wanted to be part of the incredible team who took care of her husband. She already had her certified nursing assistant license (CNA) and started looking for opportunities at the Hospice Richard L. Owens Hospice Home.

Work in the hospice

Later that year, Tamara joined the home team of Richard L. Owens Hospice as CNA.

“The Hospice Home team is one of the most beautiful souls I have ever met,” said Tamara. “Even if I witnessed first -hand, I am still in admiration for the way they argue for their patients. There is not a person in the team that is not going beyond – not one. This kind of passion makes you want to be part of the team, and that pushes you to always strive to be better.”

Tamara’s daughter Mary also witnessed the care and compassion of the hospice team during the death of her father and wanted to be part of it. Shortly after her mother started working there, she joined as a cook.

“I spread my love through food and I love sweet treats for families and offering them a little comfort,” explains Mary.

Although we consider palliative care can be an emotional decision, it is also one of the most compassionate and magnetic decisions you can make for your loved one. It allows families to cherish their time together and live the kind of care that celebrates the gift of life and respects the death process.

“For the first time, I know I walk for my goal,” says Tamara. “The life I touched, the families I met – they trust me. They know that I am not talking about a manual – I’m talking about my heart. When I walk in these pieces, I know of God that this person needs me, and I will be there for them the same way that they were there for Ron. ”

Last update: May 13, 2025