“”Washington – The worker of the Ministry of Justice accused of Throw a metro sandwich on a federal agent was arrested by an armed team of at least half a dozen American marshals during a dramatic raid on Wednesday evening, new video shows.
Sean Charles Dunn, 37, was handcuffed a second time inside his apartment at around one mile northwest of the White House, after being slapped with a criminal assault.
Raid images were Published by the White House Thursday evening Thursday evening with the legend: “Nocturnal routine: the operation renders DC Safe Again Edition.” »»
– The New York PostAugust 15
Police headquarters, Washington, DC, current. A small dusty office.
A trainee walks in the transport of a cake with CONGRATULATIONS! 25 years without crime based on sandwich Written on big frosty letters. The detective Senior J, the detective junior F and the sergeant P are seated. Everyone applauds.
Intern: Who wants to explode it?
A panicked junior detective, K, rushes.
Detective K: Turn on the TV.
They light the TV. On the screen, images of an employee of the DoJ launching a hoagie in a federal agent of the application of laws and run away.
The trainee drops the cake.
Detective J: No!
Detective K: What did these officers do there? Do they not know the first thing about the prevention of sandwiches?
Intern: It does not seem that it strikes very hard. Seemed soggy.
Lady Sleuth: No. They will count it. Remember the Hot-Dog incident in ’73?
Detective F: But a hot dog is not a sandwich!
Detective J: The records of the records did not agree.
Intern: We should have dismissed the record guards!
Detective J: (Slamming his fist on the table.) This is not how we do things in the sandwich division. It doesn’t matter that we get a bad press, like a lower panini. We do not cut the corners, unless the sandwich in question is a round sandwich.
Detective F: Some are.
Officer J: Do you think that 25 years without crime sandwich occurs?
Intern: No.
Officer J: We worked for this. It was not easy. When I started this rhythm, you could not walk on the street in Washington without the toasted cheese being pushed to the face, if you were lucky. Egg salad, if you were not.
Detective F: Not all sandwiches were harmless. Some were clubs. People were too afraid of sandwiches to build a metro in Georgetown.
Officer K: I still have a scar from the moment I took a submarine of meatballs in the chin in 1996 and, thereafter, I embarked on a knife fight without connection.
Officer J: I started here after the transfer of the division of bread crimes in France. I spent decades to track down a man who stole bread once. My name is Javert, but it’s not important. His name was Jean Valjean. I also felt him because I had only one name and he had two.
Intern: It seems excessive.
Javert officer: I think too! A name is enough for anyone.
Intern: Oh, I meant, the pursuer for …
Javert officer: RIGHT. It was. He turned out to be what he needed was rehabilitation and a second chance, not me pursuing it through France, singing. But we learned! We realized that if we were proactive rather than reactive, if we get involved in the communities we served, we could understand what was going on and stop it.
Detective F: Most sandwich crimes are opportunity crimes. People who do not wear sandwiches do not tend to commit sandwich crimes. They make other types of crimes. We brought this statistic to the chief and said, “Are you sure you want us to go everything to eliminate the crime of sandwiches? Not a regular crime? Consider all the murders that we could prevent if we give sandwiches to people who were about to make other crimes. ” And they said, “No, solve the sandwich crime.”
Detective F: Lunches are a bridge.
Javert officer: Teach small children to assemble their own sandwiches, as if it were the game! We approached all of this. We started the bread, by attacking the deep causes, then to the additional causes that were superimposed on the top, then to any sauce that was above that.
Officer K: I remember when Mark Warner did what he claimed to be a tuna cast iron. And everyone said: “Call the sandwich-crimes unit!”
Intern: This is what launched me on this path, sir. I saw him, and I knew it was an abomination, and I wanted to stop it.
Javert officer: The fact is that people trust us. We are not only police. We know the community we serve. We know how to defuse. We are looking for non -prison solutions. We ask: why someone to want throw a sandwich? How can we solve this problem? We know who has ox and if this beef is corned.
Detective F: This did not happen overnight. We have learned what to do: control the supply of mayonnaise. And what to avoid: wacky and authoritarian manifestations of force.
Intern: Most people don’t even know that there is a sandwich crime.
Officer k:: Because no one has the desire.
Intern:: And it is because of all your tireless work.
Javert officer: You can’t just enter, on a whim –
Detective F: Or a caprese.
Javert officer: – With troops! It’s not good! (STares on television and sighs.)) And they just – they ruined everything! They do not stop the crime, regular or the sandwich! They make good people concerned with walking in their own neighborhoods. I’m so angry that I could throw a good flat bread!
Detective F: (Horror dressings.) NO! You were mentor!
Javert officer: With sweet bread! A soft, with the tomato that is already falling! Just in the air, not in particular anyone.
Officer K: Listen!
Javert officer: No, you’re right. I take it ba—
Six federal agents of the application of strongly armed laws overthrow the door, Menoter Javert and begin to transport it.
Officer K: Please! He doesn’t wear! And sandwiches are not weapons!
Federal application: Sandwich crime is a federal crime.
They drag it, the sounds resounding.
Officer K: It is path Too many officers for a sandwich crime!
Intern: I’m starting to wonder if these people really care to resolve the sandwich crime.
