I am a woman at the beginning of the thirties, and after having attended my male partner for seven months I became frustrated by his Vanilla and banal sexual preferences. It makes me feel bad about my skin because it is perfect in all other ways. Not only are we intellectually compatible and share many interestsBut he is also nice, attentive and romantic. He ensures that I never go to work without a healthy lunch and is Lots of fun ideas for our outings. He makes me feel safe. I had an unstable childhood And I am not Speaking with my father. With my boyfriend, I can open up to this subject.
In the past, I came out Difficult and unreliable men with whom I could nevertheless engage in perverse sex, role play and other experiments – And I always liked this part of the relationship. When I try to start this with himHe rejects him; he Once he said he found him degrading to women. Sometimes I fantasize on having sex with more adventurous partners, but I can’t stand the idea of losing such a wonderful partner with whom I can build a future.
Donating a partner with paternal attributes is a certain way certain enough to mitigate eroticism. This process is often unconscious – because it is undoubtedly in your case – but when a relationship feels family at a certain level, whether mother, fraternal, fraternal or paternal, the taboo of deeply assisted incest makes it worthy sex. Many relationships are part of such patterns, and this is particularly understandable when adults are emerged from non -resolved traumatic infantile patterns such as the desire for an unavailable parent or the survivor of family abuse.
The task of developing a relationship in a healthy and fully adult union is rarely easy, because people tend to gravitate towards what the “child” part needs. Carefully think about the father-daughter dynamic in your relationship and, if you want to desire it, experience the identification and the change in too family aspects that remind you of the unrelated needs of childhood. Make your own lunch.
Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a psychotherapist based in the United States specializing in the treatment of sexual disorders.
