Lisa Franks, LCSW, founder of Journey to Wellness Counseling in Temecula, California, says untreated regrets don’t go away; it embeds itself in the body and nervous system, surfacing later as anxiety, irritability, or self-doubt.
“Unresolved regrets can become an obstacle to living life fully. They can keep people stuck in avoidance or perfectionism, seeking a sense of control that never arrives,” she says.
On the other hand, recognizing regret can be a turning point in managing your feelings. “When you stop avoiding [a regret] and respond to it with some gentleness, you can usually see the intention behind the initial choice: protecting your heart, trying to keep the peace, or wanting to feel safe or loved,” says Robins. “Once you understand that, the regret softens. It’s less about blaming yourself and more about understanding yourself.
For Gonzalez, her regrets about how she handled her health crisis became a turning point that transformed every aspect of her life. “I realized that I had prioritized endurance over balance, success over well-being. » she said. “Scary [my daughter] in that way, it was devastating, and it reminded me that being strong isn’t about what you can do, but about how you can take care of yourself and those who love you.
Letting go of regrets is also important. “[It] this does not mean erasing the past; it means turning it into intuition,” says Franks. “When we can view regret as a teacher rather than a verdict, it becomes a source of self-awareness and resilience.”
Gonzalez took his learnings to heart. “[Regret] “It taught me how to turn pain into purpose and dismantle the myth that slowing down is failure,” she says. “It also strengthened my empathy as a leader and as a mother, and helped me build a mission to help others recognize their own warning signs before they reach a breaking point.”
She says that while writing her book, The lens pivotin which she addresses the importance of pursuing success in a healthy, holistic way rather than letting it become a constant chore, has been part of her healing. Now at peace with the past, she says the book “allowed me to take one of the scariest moments of my life and turn it into something that could be of use to others.”
