To all known and unknown cassies

Sean Combs’ trial is underway, and Cassie Ventura was called upon to testify before the Federal Court for several days while eight months of pregnancy. In her testimony, she alleged indescribable acts and violent behaviors of the comb she has endured for several years. There is also the whole video of the hotel, many of which have seen a part; We cannot deny the lived experience of Cassie. We know that healing in his truth is difficult, and she must always face a counter-examination of her defense team. However, some people always question his experience.

And there are so many boxes that we know and that we do not know everything around us; 40% of black women will suffer domestic violence in their lives, according to a study by the Institute of Policy Research. Some of them will lose their lives in terms of violence between intimate partners.

Yes it happened

Cassie, like many victims of domestic violence, asked for her experiences. The denial can sometimes invalidate the lived experience of a woman because, according to Martha E. Banks, Ph.D, a research neuropsychologist, “women are sometimes victims of romantic terrorism, coercive romanticism”, she says. “For the victims, as well as people in the networks of the victims, the aggressor seems particularly loving. The abuse is private, but the public appearance is massively – and exaggerated – loving. »»

Although the band may have sparked certain victims of domestic violence, others were embraced to talk about their experiences. Dr. Banks says: “The release of these videos and similar videos can provide victims to the victims several times by attackers than there are no abuse. It is sometimes easier to perceive and be indignant by someone else’s abuse than to recognize that the victims themselves do not deserve any abuse.”

Power dynamics leads to isolation

One of the disadvantages of social media is that everyone has become an expert on everything. And we have opinions on things that we know nothing, even complicated questions like domestic violence. However, it is essential to understand that there are more factors to consider before telling a woman to “leave”.

“There are multiple dynamics of power involved. Emotional violence, which is present as a component of all abuses, includes isolation. Such isolation can prevent victims from supporting themselves financially, so that the victims remain in relations because they cannot access the ways of independence. ” Explains Dr. Banks. “Emotional violence includes several times by telling the victims that they deserve abuse because they are” bad “people.”

The cycle of domestic violence

Dr. Banks underlines that we mainly know explosions of presentation. “At the start of the relationship, explosions are generally followed by denial – either that nothing really happened, or that it was not really so bad. Then there is a honeymoon phase-flowers, candies, romantic dinners, “she explains. “Then, the tension is built, and there is another explosion. After a while, the honeymoon disappears, and the cycle is only explosion, denial and tension. Then, denial disappears, and everything that remains are not periods of tension and violent explosions. If the descending spiral is not stopped, it ends when someone dies.”

While we read the news of more black and brown women who lose their lives following violence between intimate partners, Dr. Banks stresses that there is a critical lack of available information, and the information available is prior to the COVID-19 pandemic. “It is important to note that the increase in access to the possession of firearms in the United States has led to an increase in homicide of intimate partners,” concludes Dr. Banks.