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Anticipated grievance – OSF support care blog

Publisher’s note: The following is taken from the OSF Home Care Messages of Hope booklet, “anticible grievance”.

Consider the following

A friend goes for “simple” surgery and the doctor finds a malignant tumor that cannot be deleted.

Your friend reacts with denial – “It can’t be true. I’m too young” – anger – “I’m not ready to give up. I have young children. I feel good. I’m going to fight!” -Fear-“What’s waiting for us? Will I suffer? How will it affect my family?” – Banner – “I will get a second opinion maybe to buy me time. Please give me another chemo cycle … I can do it. ” – Regrets – “If only had gone to the doctor earlier, they might have been able to treat him.

I can never have a retreat or look at my grandchildren. – Depression – “My body has its own mind. I feel helpless, vulnerable, embarrassed, helpless. »»

You were told that your kidneys are slowly stopping and that there is nothing that medical staff can do.

You raise your voice in the rage – “Why God? Why me? It is not fair! I was a faithful member of the church, sung in the choir, served to committees, I followed the rules, etc.” You think: “They can do a quadruple steering. They can transplant the organs. Why can’t they help me? ” You negotiate: “Please let me live until our 50th wedding anniversary.”

You feel fear and may be afraid of dying. You are afraid of pain and you are nervous about the future. You feel extreme sadness and want to live longer for your family. You are in a state of denial and try to convince yourself that you can beat the disease. The last step is acceptance. During this stage, you can prepare your family, express your final wishes and say goodbye.

Anticipated sorrow affects everyone

Family members and friends are also crying in their own way. Although their reactions may seem to be “everywhere on the map”, normal responses include denial, numbness, shock, anger, negotiation (with God or the doctor), fear, guilt, depression, regret, relief and acceptance. They can start repairing broken relationships, sharing memories and relying on family, friends and church support. They finally give their beloved permission to let go.

This difficult and scary trip does not need to be walked alone. Although each loss is unique and your sorrow very personal, others have suffered in a similar way and can provide support and a company. Family, friends, pastors, support groups, mourning advisers and chaplains from the nursing home or nursing home can be wonderful resources.

Here in OSF Healthcare, members of the Home Services OSF Home Care care team have special training to support both the patient and the family because they are faced with medical, emotional, psychological, practical and spiritual challenges.

Our prayer for you and your loved ones:

May the God who created you, bought you with his Son Jesus Christ and aspires to comfort and support you, bless you in this trip and always.

Last update: December 4, 2018

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