Help children cope when the family is dying

Contributed by:
Laura Sollenberger, pediatric supervisor for support for support care – OSF Saint Francis

The death of a close relative can be very difficult for children. Helping children to face the death of a loved one can help improve adaptation after death.

The reaction of a child to the learning that a loved one will die will depend a lot on his age and his stage of development and his previous experience with death. No child will react exactly the same way.

It is not always easy to decide what to tell children, especially if they are very young. Whether your own children, family members or friends of friends, you won’t want to worry them. Talking to the children of death can be very difficult and overwhelming. It is natural to want to spare them the injury or pain.

Honesty is the best policy

However, when you help children face, it is always better to be honest. They are very insightful. They will resume changes in body language, mood and effects. If he doesn’t say what’s going on, they can imagine things that are even worse than reality.

It is very important to give children simple explanations that they can understand, with a lot of time to absorb and process new information. Children often need authorization to ask questions, and you can find yourself answering the same question several times. It can be very difficult to have to repeat information, but it can play an important role by helping the child understand what is going on.

Children often have to reassure that nothing they have done caused an illness or death. Young children, in particular, may feel that they have somehow made the disease happening by getting angry or wishing that someone on the side. Children are sometimes worried about other people they care can die – or even they can die. Health and safety insurance are useful in this situation.

Even the youngest children can express their love for a dying family member. Draw images, make cards, create hand mussels with their beloved, make videos, take photos and share stories can all create memories that then become touchstones for a child’s grief trip.

Last update: November 5, 2018