Billie Lourd reflected on the nine-year anniversary of the death of her mother Carrie Fisher on Saturday by recalling the joyful times she spends with her children and her father, CAA CEO Bryan Lourd.
Fisher, Billie Lourd wrote in a lengthy Instagram post remembering her mother, “lives on this joy.”
Billie Lourd told how she and her daughter went outside this morning and her daughter put her head on her chest and said “I love you mom”, grabbed her face and kissed her.
“She does this almost every morning and I would dare say there is no better way to wake up and no ritual I love more,” Billie Lourd wrote. “I told her how much her grandmother would have loved her and she looked at me and kissed me again.”
THE American Horror Story The actress then shared that she and her daughter went to breakfast with her father, with the CAA co-president and the child running “together like two old souls who have known each other forever.”
“Watching my father with my children is one of the greatest joys I have ever known,” says The Scream Queens an elder wrote. “The kind of joy that makes your face hurt because you can’t stop smiling, the kind of joy that makes you feel like your life is a movie that you thought only existed in movies. But then you step back and realize it’s better than any movie could ever be.”
This joy, wrote Billie Lourd, “would not be possible without” Fisher.
“This joy only exists because she existed. So even though she is not physically a part of this joy, she is a part of it. Even though she is not alive, she lives through this joy,” she wrote. “My grief takes many forms – today, right now, this form is this joy I feel watching my children with my father. It could and will change shape many times during this day because grief is never just one thing, but in this moment I savor this bittersweet joy.”
In closing, Billie Lourd said she will “never stop missing” Fisher. His remarks were accompanied by two photos, one that appeared to be of Fisher and Bryan Lourd with Billie Lourd as a child and another of Bryan Lourd apparently holding Billie Lourd’s children, which Billie Lourd said were taken in the same room 25 years apart.
Fisher died on December 27, 2016, at the age of 60, following a heart attack during a flight from London to Los Angeles. Fisher’s mother and Billie Lourd’s grandmother, Debbie Reynolds, died a day later on December 28 at the age of 84.
Billie Lourd has paid tribute to her late mother on numerous occasions, including on the anniversaries of her death and her birthday. In October, on what would have been Fisher’s 69th birthday, Billie Lourd thought again of her children, expressing sadness that her mother “never got to meet her grandchildren and see them become the magical, intelligent, hilarious creatures they are today.”
Billie Lourd added of Fisher: “She was a brilliant magical human and I want them to know that.”
