The kindness of strangers: When I found out my cancer had spread, the woman in the next bed reached out to me | Life and style

II’ve had more good sex than most people have had hot dinners, so when I discovered a lump in my breast and knew right away it was cancer, I thought everything was okay. I had a lot of fun. I’m going to have a mastectomy, do it and move on with my life.

But when I came out of the operation, I was taken to a hospital room shared with another woman. The doctors closed the curtain around us, sat down, and told me the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes and my other breast. I would need a second mastectomy and extensive chemotherapy. I felt like I had been hit by a truck. I couldn’t believe it.

When everyone left, the woman on the other side of the curtain, who must have heard this whole conversation, called me and said, “Hey friend, are you okay?”

I said that actually, no, I’m not. We talked and she also had breast cancer. She had just had a lumpectomy. What surprised me was that she had experienced this horrible thing but was so attentive and supportive with me. She told me, “Everything will be fine. They’re really good at breast cancer. They know how they treat it.” And then we just started talking about our lives.

His partner came over later with a marijuana cookie and we ate half each. When he left, we talked all night – about our childhood, our weaknesses, our mistakes, our shared past as surfers, her time as a party girl, my child, the fact that she didn’t have children. We didn’t sleep. By the end of the evening, I felt like I had shared everything I had never shared with anyone before, and we were so loving and kind to each other. And thanks to the cookie, we also laughed so hard that we wet our pants and got in trouble with the nurses for being too loud.

The next day she left. She sent me an email saying I was in her thoughts and that she knew I would be okay. I began two years of intensive treatment – ​​I had another mastectomy, a hysterectomy, chemotherapy and radiotherapy – and I was too ill to contact anyone. Later, my email was hacked and I lost his contact details.

But this woman changed things. Even though I had a not-so-positive future ahead of me, spending this fantastic night together was transformative. It taught me two things: that I could leave this space of darkness and find joy, and seek the kindness that people give you, because kindness is what will sustain you. And that East there, if you are looking for it.

What is the kindest thing a stranger has ever done for you?

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