Why libido can fall and what to do if it does

Sex is an integral part of the relationships of many people. But for some, a loss of libido is common after events that change life, such as pregnancy and childbirth, according to the NHS.

The star of reality TV and fitness coach Holly Hagan-Bbleth said that it happened to him after having his son.

“I could have said:” Listen, if you never touch me again, I am not even disturbed “because that’s how I felt at the time,” she said during the co-organization of the Parental Assistant of Cbeebies.

The sexual and relational therapist, Rachel Gold, said that mothers often expect to become intimate again after their six -week postnatal check.

“I think it really deceives people to believe that it must be the time to have sex, but that is not true.”

Holly said her libido plunged after the arrival of her son Alpha-Jax in 2023 and that she began to avoid any kind of intimacy.

“Every time I gave it [her husband Jacob] Any type of affection, like a touch or a hug, I felt that it was going to lead to the complete thing, to sex, and I didn’t want it. “”

“I started to make a negative connotation to do anything to him.”

Being open with her husband helped, she said.

“As soon as I said, that’s what I feel:” Whenever I cuddle you and touch, can we not have it led to the next thing? Because it just makes me want to do this “, and all of a sudden, everything was so much better because this pressure was taken off.”

Her husband Jacob was afraid of no longer believing.

“I said to myself:” You have to realize that it has nothing to do with you. I feel that way for the moment, but I don’t think you are different. “”

“I don’t really want to have sex right now, or maybe even in the coming months. This is my problem that I am going through, and I just need to work on it.”

Holly hopes that couples who encounter the same problems can be more open.

“People say that the relationship changes after having a child, but I don’t think that until you are, you really realize, how much it changes.”

Dr. Jennifer Lincoln, specialist in obstetrics and gynecology, says that there are many reasons why women may not want to have sex after childbirth.

“There is a lot of healing that occurs. It takes about six weeks for the uterus to return to its size before pregnancy. All tears in the vagina or the perineum also heals.”

There are also big hormonal changes for women who can have an impact on their libido.

“The levels of estrogen and progesterone drop considerably. The lower estrogen levels can cause physical changes such as vaginal drought, which can make sex painful.”

“People usually think that menopause is the most acute change in hormone levels that a woman will never know, but in fact the few days surrounding childbirth.”

It is not only a problem that affects mothers. CBEEBIES PARENTING HEALPLINE AUDITOR Frankie, who had her baby three months ago, said her male partner had made sex.

“I hate my body right now, and all I want is a little more attention from my partner, but he no longer wants to have sex with me. I feel stuck.”

Rachel says that men sometimes find it difficult to open on their feelings.

“Entering paternity can evoke all kinds of things in a man … It could be a very big factor to repel him by wanting to have sex.”

Fleur Parker, practitioner of the charity of Childbirth the NCT, says that the treatment of these emotions is often not considered a priority for men.

“Honestly talking to your partner how you feel can really help; don’t assume that he knows what’s going on or what you think.”

Jennifer recommends that couples who find it difficult to ask for support.

“Some new parents are easily adapted, knowledge of intimacy will naturally come back, while others experience significant distress.”

“If this causes a major relational conflict, I recommend professional support – whether they are couple advice, sexual therapy or medical evaluation for persistent physical problems.”

• The normalization of a loss of libido is absolutely essential. Recognize that this is entirely normal, not “everything in your head”, helps reduce blame and pressure
• For women who experience these changes, be patient with the natural healing process of your body
• Communicate openly with your partner on your needs and expectations
• Partners can better support each other by temporarily redefining privacy, focusing on emotional connection and non -sexual touch
• This may also include more practical responsibility, such as household tasks and childcare, to reduce overall stress

Advice provided by Dr. Jennifer Lincoln; More information can also be found on the NHS website.